August 3rd, 2013 would have been mom and dad's fiftieth wedding anniversary. It landed on a beautiful Saturday during Menominee's Blessing of the Watercraft. Here are a few photos from the memorial service we held that day.

The details of mom's funeral have been finalized.

Visitation will be from 4-6:00 Friday with service to follow.

Hansen Onion Martell Funeral Home

610 Marinette Ave, Marinette, Wisconsin 54143

715.735.3737

Sadly, this is THAT post. 

Mom stopped breathing around 4:25am and her heart stopped at 4:30. She was very quiet and she still looks really good. 

I'll keep you all up to date here about funeral arrangements, we believe it will be Friday at Hansen Onion and Martell in Marinette.

Take care.

I was hesitant to leave the Walker for dinner last night because mom was trying to speak. I could not make out anything she was saying, but she did not seem agitated or scared. I asked the girls, Chris and his family to wait for me until mom was quiet again. When I got back to the Walker a few hours later, the aides and nurses said mom was trying to talk. There was a lot of fluid build up so it sounded like she was talking while gargling. A nurse asked how she was feeling and mom clearly said "okay". She continued to try to talk on and off for several hours. I slept soundly from 11:00pm to 2:00am. The night nurse said mom also tried to talk to him during that time. She's been quiet since then. The fluids have cleared from her throat, hopefully I will understand her if she tries to speak today.

I was so surprised that mom was making eye contact and talking yesterday, that I had to verify that she has not had any more fluids. 

The new hospice nurse on duty for the weekend asked for mom's entire history since the stroke and she took careful notes as I told her everything I knew. Everyone's death experience is different, but mom is clearly an unusual case. 

I began regretting this blog when we were getting more bad news than good. Now I just regret that I don't have much news to share. Mom's hospice team all agreed that it was doubtful she would make it through last weekend. Most of the signs that suggested the end was near on Thursday, May 30th, have cleared up. I haven't noticed any major changes in the past eight days. Mom is unresponsive on some days and on other days she opens her eyes every time she hears her name. The hospice nurse said today that mom looked and sounded good, seemed very comfortable and the Walker staff was doing a great job caring for her.

Christopher (Kathy's son) and his family are here this weekend. Mom opened her eyes a little for them and tried talking again this morning.

I was sure mom's last words would be "I'm done", which she said eight days ago. But on Wednesday afternoon mom woke up and her eyes looked focused for the first time in days. She said "hello" and then stayed awake talking, laughing and smiling for twenty minutes. She was weak and quiet, so I couldn't always make out what she was saying. She would smile and shrug when I couldn't understand (like she's done since the stroke when she couldn't find the right words). When she became too weak to speak, I did most of the talking and she responded appropriately.

Mom has now gone twelve days with only five ounces of fluid, and eight days with none at all. She does not swallow her medication, it is absorbed through the inside of her cheek. People who voluntarily give up eating and drinking can sometimes live for two weeks, but mom lost her ability to swallow when her body began shutting down. Most people in her condition live for only three or four days without fluids.

I have been sleeping in mom's room since Sunday and yesterday the chaplain hinted for me to leave for a while. She suggested mom might sense my presence and not want to slip away while I was in the room. I left for a few hours to run errands and visit with a friend. When I returned, mom's door was closed and this note was attached to the door frame. 

Mom is still sleeping comfortably, she looks very much like herself and her color is good. Most experts agree that dehydration brings about a natural euphoria. It has dried up most of the fluid around mom's heart and lungs, and the secretions in her throat, so she sounds good as well. She has not needed an extra bump of morphine since Sunday, she no longer gets restless.

No major changes since Friday. Mom is unable to swallow and has had no fluids since Thursday. Her breathing has slowed slightly since yesterday. She opened her eyes for a while early this morning, but again it was difficult to tell if anything registered. She is sleeping comfortably again.

Jimmer arrived in Minneapolis at noon on Friday. Mom has been mostly unresponsive since Friday morning, but may have made eye contact for short while on Saturday morning, it was difficult to tell. She's swallowed only five ounces of fluid in the past week. Hospice continues to increase her morphine and Ativan as she needs it, so she's resting comfortably. 

Mom was pretty miserable when I arrived at Walker this morning. She is relaxing now after getting morphine for pain and Ativan for anxiety. I was texting Jimmer to say I didn't know if it made sense to move mom when Nixon (the nurse manager) came in to say it was up to us, but he thought it was best if mom stayed at the Walker. The Walker team will continue to care for mom, but hospice will be on call to make sure she's comfortable.